she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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