Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize