i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
