i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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