The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
