ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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