so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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