So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mom said you looked used
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
