hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
