i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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