I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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