i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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