bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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