just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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