Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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