nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
