i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
