It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
