people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
