can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
