you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
someone owes me an orgasm
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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