I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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