I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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