R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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