Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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