my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
