I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
