We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
