If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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