Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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