She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
