He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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