He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
