What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
