Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
