I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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