Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
