Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
