umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
