Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
