wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
