Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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