Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So many bounce houses so little time
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
