He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
