Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
