try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
