Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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