Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
