I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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