dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
