problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
