I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i think my cat just said my name.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
