I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
