Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
