She is in my trunk
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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