my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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