I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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