one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
