you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
