i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize