carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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